the prestige.
am in e bugis cafe now. i underestimated their food. it's nice! and cheap too. not to mention that they provide free wireless, which is why i am blogging right now. i promised to not to spend again but! i bought 2 tops today!! i sinned. haha. okay no more no more.
am damn tired. cant have enough sleep no matter how hard i try. well, i miss him. it really doesnt help when he is too tired to call. guess i can only wait till he books out after his field camp next weekend.
the prestige is good! went cine to watch it with veron ytd to take advantage of the new low ticket price, and i must admit the plot is brilliant. it keeps you guessing right till the end and the twist will still give you a shock. i kinda guessed some parts but i had my doubts. the whole story was structured in sucha way that i would not know if i'm right till it's proven. go watch go watch. then you'll understand this complicated way of telling you the story on my part cause i dont wanna give any spoilers. :)
down to work. exams in 2 weeks. oh man, have i said how much i hate that? bah.
fantastic weekend.
i played mj i played mj i played mj i played mj i played mj i played mj!! teehee. we were so desperate to play that we had to make do with a rectangular table in rtc. shuffle e tiles by tossing them in e towel we used to spread on e table to minimise noise. but it was fun still. tho at e end i suffer from e usual side effects: headache due to lack of sleep, heatiness and what nots. but i am satisfied. not for long though. jio me jio me!
celebrated dearest bong's 21st bday ytd!! was sucha blast. that girl still say no one will come, when e whole place was jam packed with ppl in e end. and not all of e ppl are there yet somemore. haha. tsk tsk. paranoia man. was quite fun and poor birthday girl had to run all around to entertain e diff batch of ppl. i believe such scenerio would not happen during mine since i only have so little ppl to entertain. haha. damn. i dont want my 21st to come so soon!
and we're official. :) not e electric shock kinda thing this time, but a mellow flow. i guess i can live with that and move on from e floating dreamy phase of romance. heh.
worst movie i've ever watched.
"Oh in Ohio" is the worst movie of the year i tell you. its even worse than seed of chucky, which is really saying sth since i was appalled at how bad a movie can get when i watched that. "oh in ohio" movie changed that totally. no storyline, no meaning in the lines and plot, and no point whatsoever. i swear i am traumatized by the coupling of that fat, stubby, balding old man with the supposedly prettiest girl in cliffland. *shudders* the constatnt sniggering of a bunch of guys behind us doesnt help either. bah.
wonder why i'm blogging lesser and lesser.
sleeping bug is on me again. i kept overslping and missing lessons! this will not do.
caught the departed with ch on sat. i think it's better if you haven watched infernal affairs prior to this, or you may be confused by the jumble of events. and true to what bong said, all e people who can die, died. rather abrupt ending though, and all e shooting people in e head scenes left me abit freaked and rattled.
heard that e prestige is good. hmm. and death note too. been dying to catch death note if not for its stupid timing at 2 am. anyone wanna catch it too? and movie ticket prices just got cheaper. mon-wed 6.50 only!! at cathay. hee. more reasons to watch a movieeeeeee.
i have e itchiness for mj. everyone's been playing except meeeee. and i dont even have the computer games to keep the edge of e itchiness off. sigh. no wonder pple say gambling is addictive. it's how they created e game la. too exciting and fun!! cannot resist.
term papers due soon. and projects. and assignments. and EXAMS! *faints*
damn. i can smell exams alr.
super un-constructive studying session in central lib today. just wasnt in e studying mood. i think i need to be somewhere where food and black coffee is readily available for me before i can concentrate. and batteries for my mp3 player too, since these are all i thought and stoned about for e whole time. oh. and sleep too. i napped and napped and napped. my eyes have to stop their automatic closure when they realise what's in front of them had sth remotely related to studies.
tsk. like that how to revise? tsk tsk.
Abruptly, i let go. it doesnt matter to me anymore. e feeling left just like that, as i've realised when he's taken to contacting me again. i'm glad for it. gotta be strong girl. gotta forget, even if you cant forgive. jiayou.
it is but another day.
got it all out ytd. ended up with virtually nil sleep and extremely swollen eyes. i am amazed that i can still present my tutorial as per normal today. haha. life goes on. i have to keep on moving.
i still dont know why i reacted that way though. i couldnt breathe when i first saw e msg, harmless and non-personal much as it is. e second contact made me broke down. it just started. useless eh?
but at least there's meizhen, zhi'en, bong and ch. pulled me through, pulled me out, brightened my day. :) thank goodness i have people like you around me. love ya all. heh.
sinking, heavy heart.
the sinking feeling left after i woke up. wretched mind kept running to all sorts of wild places. doesnt help when e heavy heart gave me a even worse temper than usual. many told me my fear is unfounded. that i shldnt confuse e past with e present. but i find my mind wandering to him more than once, just thinking abt what he is busy with now, who he hangs out with now. maybe they all found their new bunch of friends, which totally explains e nonexistent contact now. i hate it when stuff ends like this, cause there is no end. it just stopped. like that.
"why do you care?"
i dont know.
and it is so weird that when some of e tears finally fall, it's because of him. that i would think of what we went through and how childish he was. "silly girl", the sweetest thing he ever told me. and he forgotten all about it. it just made me sad when i said it out, when en asked me. cause that made it real. that no, it didnt end as pleasantly that i want it to be.
when memories are long, and people dont care as much as you do, you ache inside. like i do.
ouch.
how do you even pre-empt it?
it hits you with a wham, takes you unawares. you stagger under the weight of it, the sheer force of it, and let it weigh heavily on your heart. how should i handle it, i wonder. do i even need to? it comes and goes, at the most unexpected times. taking you by surprise, so that you have no idea how to avoid or prevent from happening.
brain focusing on all the wrong things. oh, just let it be and concentrate, damn it. ugh.
elusive slp.
havent been slping well at all these few days. no idea why. maybe it's the stress. sigh. the feeling of staring at the ceiling sucks. thank goodness i have people like bong who suffers the same thing as me. at least we have company. :)
woes and school.
that stupid rose is getting me stressed. bah. now i am feeling the pressure from the top of my throbbing headache to my achy toes. was bombarded with macro questions and how to answer them during the not-very-relaxing break. and after the money and banking tutorial, i came out depressed and bloody nervous about my 35 page essay. having a lecturer who seem to know nuts about the subject certainly doesnt help. imagine asking him a totally alternbative solution that has some suspected flaws and theories that we dont understand, and all we can generate out of him is "yaya. liddat also can..." -.- alk about consultation to confirm and discuss our studies. how to when he is so damn "agreeable"?
have to hand in my proposal for da soci term paper tmr. i hate jlo. bah. i have no idea what to include in it thanks to his non-existent guideline that he wants us to follow. abstract ideas my foot. how to churn something out when the ideas are so abstract that i cannot put any of my fingers to it? :(
enough of rambling school woes. i think the recent weekend have to be the most unhappening one so far. all i did was work, shop abit and work. the most happening thing would be e trip to NAB. i did manage to get myself a pair of pretty heels and a gorgeous top though. shall parade in my top on thurs. teehee.
and damn. i dont know if i should be doing this, but i miss him. he wasnt suppose to get to me so fast! bah. slow down slow down. slowwwwwwww is da way to go man. reaaaallllllllll slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. :) heh.
who decided that weekends have to be happening?
woo. damn high now. haha. went to e new asia bar with bong to drink as i've never been there before. was minding our own business till this bunch of uncles came to chat us up and treated us beer and champagne. haha. was sitting beside the whole big group of them and apparently they got drunk or high or sth. a combination of beer, cocktail, liquor shooters and champagne is apparently not good, since i am quite high now. woo. shall bring myself back to earth soon.
thought about alot, and had a sudden realisation a week ago. so stupid of me to be clinging on to sth that is so unreachable and vague. i guess i've known it all along, but blatant denial just clouded me from realising it consciously. does self denial equate plain stupidity, seriously?
devastating truth. and the truth is always hard to swallow, i guess.
chee how just enlisted today. haha. time to be a man, dude. we'll see how things go when he books out 14 days later. maybe things will be brought to another level, or maybe not. we'll see how things go.
so many assignments and projects, so little time. whatever i do, it's never enough. screwed up profs and over ambitious essays are driving me crazy too. and yet i have spare time to think about what i shouldn't. someone, please, pull me back...
i guess i should hate you.
